God. Stop it. I’m not going to stress eat!
The last seven days have really tested me. When I think about what all is not going well, the one thing that is… is my eating! That’s unusual. My sister lives on the East coast of Japan. Need I say more? I’ve not had a panic attack since I though my house was going blow up because I thought I hit a gasline planting geraniums. Funny story, I’ll have to share sometime. But the attacks are offically back.
Last Thursday night when Shelly called to ask if I knew about the earthquake, I couldn’t even keep my hands still enough to function the remote to change the channel — only getting the channel to CNN in time to see that they just ‘happened’ to capture live images of the tsunami hitting land, I don’t think I could have been much more stressed.
Skip to today. My mother went into the hospital yesterday because she couldn’t breathe. She’s had a bad case of the flu (even put on Tamiflu) and we all thought it was related to that. Wrong. Found out this morning my mom actually had a small heart attack. WTF?? Seriously? MY mom? That happens to other families… not mine. Sure she’s overweight… but not NEARLY as overweight as me. And being overweight does not neccessarily mean you WILL have a cardiac event. I think I’ve been betting against that… almost trying to prove that although I’m obese, I’m healthy. But… if that doesn’t wake you up to the mortal reality of your family, I don’t know what will.
I only hope I lose it in time to make a difference. And how can I be a support to my mom and to try to get her to be healthier when I’m literally playing craps with my health myself?