I faced the scale today. 265.8
Not happy, but no one to blame but myself. I was watching a Ricky Gervais comedy special last night and a portion of his routine was about how people say obesity is a disease…. of course he was poking fun at it… and I did chuckle with it, but I have mixed feelings.
I’m intelligent, I successfully function in society, I know right from wrong… why can’t I master THIS??? It’s just food. Its. Just. Food.
I’ve rejoined a challenge on Nutrisystem — Interestingly enough it’s called “Turning Over a New Leaf” — how’s that for duplicate meaning? I an hoping that by having something to keep me accountable, I’ll do better since I’m no longer checking in with Mom.. and Sunday AM weigh-ins with Leah have kinda fallen by the wayside. I’ve eaten everything in site for the past couple months and I feel horrble. Sluggish, blobby, sick. Yesterday I ate an entire bag of those Tostito Pizza Rolls…. after I had a Big Mac Value Meal. I’m totally eating out of control and I know that. I need to get my brain chemicals back in order. I know I do a lot better once I’m back into controlled eating for 3 days. Usually takes a few days.
Hopefully come Wednesday, I’ll be feeling more in control.